What are pathological patterns?
Pathological patterns are conscious or unconscious behaviours in which a person may become trapped in order to sidestep, escape or avoid different challenges in their life. Sometimes they are clear, sometimes they are subtle, but ultimately they hinder development across different areas of daily life.
What makes patterns hard to work on is that, because they are so familiar, they become invisible. They are "just the way we are", not something we perceive as a problem until the consequences accumulate. This is why many people arrive in therapy without knowing exactly what is wrong — only with the feeling that something is not working.
For example: out of fear of feeling that I will fail or disappoint others, freezing and making excuses. These are generally fears that accompany us and that, depending on circumstances, can guide our lives wholly or partially.
Patterns do not have to be clear at first. Sometimes one may simply have the feeling that "something is wrong".
Signs
The most frequent ones I have observed are:
- Fear of failure.
- Fear of success.
- Fear of loneliness.
- Fear of conflict.
- Fear of embarrassment.
- Fear of rejection.
We all have or have had these fears to some extent. The difference between a fear and a pathological pattern is the reach of that fear and the number of strategies we have developed over the course of our lives, so that the original problem has become blurred beneath self-deceptions, avoidance behaviours and overcompensation that the person does not perceive as such.
How we work at PSINCRO
Patterns are worked on in two phases. First, we identify the pattern in order to make it conscious, trying to understand where it comes from and gradually exposing ourselves to situations previously avoided. Obviously this is a process that takes time — change does not happen overnight.
In the second phase, we work on developing alternative responses, not erasing the fear at its root, but learning to act in spite of it, gradually and without forcing.
Working on a pattern means working on the root of the problem, understanding that the symptoms are a manifestation of the "original fear". There does not always have to be a pathological pattern; however, regardless of its existence, working on the symptoms is also important — they are like two sides of the same coin.
Frequently asked questions
The right question is not whether you "are like that", but whether that way of being is causing you suffering or limiting your life by preventing the normal development of other areas. A pathological pattern is not an immutable trait: it is a learned mechanism that made sense at some point and now no longer serves you.
Identifying it tends to be quicker than expected: the first threads usually appear within a few sessions. Working on it takes longer — you have to "truly realise it", build new responses and practise them. Duration depends on how long the patterns have been present and the personal willingness to change.
Frequently yes, though not always. Many are formed in childhood because that is when we learn to relate to the world. But they can also form in adolescence or adulthood, after difficult experiences. What is relevant is not when they were formed, but how they function today.